My Dream Man:Technical IMPOSSIBILITY

I've just come to the horrific realization that my Hero, and dream man, is a technical IMPOSSIBILITY.

So, who is this Hero/dream man of mine?

Why, none other than Bruce Wayne/Batman himself!

Analyze it this way. My absolute favourite Batman of all time is Michael Keaton from Burton's Batman movies(Never mind the sexy dildo Batmobile. I really REALLY liked the Batman in there too! Seriously.)

How about my favourite Bruce Wayne? Well, I'd have to say it's the current one, Christian Bale. He totally looks the part of a playboy millionaire, even thought Nolan shows him making whoopie with way too few chicks for a PLAYBOY. Hugh Hefner would disapprove, I'm quite sure. Hehe. "You call yourself a playboy?! Shame on you, Bruce. Shame."

Sober, logical analysis:

Anyway, Keaton looks the best in a Batsuit because face it, he's a fucking nerd, Ok, a damn hot nerd, but still, a NERD. And ONLY a NERD would run around rooftops in the middle of the night dressed up in a Bat costume.

Christian Bale, on the other hand, totally looks the part of the playboy billionaire, despite only seeming to lust after/bone(actually, there didn't seem to be ANY boning at all. Damn Hollywood for keeping stuff PG to sell more summer blockbuster tickets!) a single chick and totally moping after her when she goes for his rival.

So, here comes the killer facts.

No NERD would be that kind of a playboy.

Only a NERD would run around rooftops in a Batsuit at night. I don't care what traumatic childhood said playboy had. Better therapy can be found in the bright lights of casinos, as far as I'm concerned. "Oh look, SHINY!" is so much more satisfying than, "Oh, fuck, too dark to see. Must switch on night vision goggles."

No NERD would be that HOT. As in comic book proclamations of Bruce Wayne's supposed sexual prowess and attractiveness, because it's kind of PG-rated in all the movie versions, X-rated Batnipples in Batman & Robin non-withstanding, and which I am also ignoring, on the basis of it being so shameful, it's like some kind of bastard lovechild that shouldn't even be acknowledged.

And finally, IGNORE this pointless blog post, because I'm absolutely fucking bored, AND sleepy as Hell. The good news though, is that I've been resisting the LURE of afternoon naps, so, yeah I suppose it's time for me to go and make love to my pillow instead of my Stud.

Good night, everybody!