(I'm really bored, so even MORE totally random thoughts...)

• Women-"I am only as strong as the hairspray I use & the coffee I drink."

How about this?
NEW! Brand names:
-Indestructible Hairspray &
-Invincible Coffee?
~~~~~

• Often heard on deathbeds(at least in the movies...):

"I'm sorry, son/daughter. I should have been a better parent to you."

• A retort that I have (sadly) yet to hear:

"Don't bother blaming yourself, dad/mom. You did the best you could. It's not your fault that I was too good a son/daughter for you."

How's that for a final insult, eh? Adding a compliment to THE ultimate insult. Trigger off a heart attack? So NOT a wonder! Heh.
~6th Aug '08, 11.32pm
~~~~~
In other news, it's THE sister's birthday today, & I'm equally determined to ruin it just like they've ruined so many of mine. She likes the illusion of a big happy family, but I'm just being a total brat & refusing to join in... They'll probably be one big happier family without me.
Let's see... I'd already dropped out of school on my dad's birthday some years back... I'm being a big fat bitch(never skinny!) on the sister's... What else can I do?! Get arrested on the mother's?! No way. My pride will never allow that. I'm too good for it. Heh. Anyway, it's going to be spectacular! Heh.
Cheers,
MidNight
2nd September, 3.53 pm

The Concept Of Good & Bad

It's highly amusing just how often I get told to "be good"(occasionally even by the people I'd actually care to listen to, though it's generally coming from the mother...)

In fact, I'm always good... You know me. I always do as is good for moi. (The BEST-even better than merely good!-action possible to my advantage. Mawhahahahaha!)

Yes, it's bloody good to me. Who gives a fuck if... shall we say,society in general... DOESN'T consider it good?! Good to me is all that bloody matters.

Or at least, it's the only definition of good that I bloody give a damn about.
(So, Cynthis, I can honestly tell you that "Yes, I've been a good girl." Hell yeah! Umm... *guiltily* Lying to MY advantage is good too, non?)
Cheers,
MidNight

Running Away

Haha! Hilarious!
Speaking of running away from home, a friend over the net asked me,"are you going to sell your body to the vicious old men who come out of bars completely wasted to put food on the table for you starving accident child?"So no way! I'll thieve & all, but NOT whore. I have standards, ya know...
Then, she mentioned that this way, I'd never find my "sexy man-beast".
Yeah right. I'll find my nice, safe, completely commitment-free fuck buddy, (& if he happens to be a smokin' HOT "sexy man-beast", well, lucky me, wouldn't you say?)
Heh.
Oh, & one more thing, why do the people I chat with in PERSON all freak out & faint at the mention of the words "fuck buddy"?! I mean, I swear just as much in my conversations, so it can't be the "fuck" that's causing the faintings. BUT! Put the words fuck+buddy & people freak out. Anyone care to enlighten me?
Sigh... No wonder I have more friends over the net than in real life... People freak out less easily over the net... (Yeah, I know ya'll think I'm joking. Again.)
Footloose & fancy-free,
MidNight The Magnificent forever!

Discrimination? Never With Me.

Oh, I have absolutely NOTHING against bisexuals.

Put it this way, I would only ever kick up a fuss if I'm fucking him & he suddenly wants a threesome.

Threesome? Never in this life. Or the next. Okay, maybe if they're BOTH really REALLY hot MEN.
& WTF am I saying?!
So NEVER! I don't care if those are the hottest MEN in the whole-fucking universe. I ain't doing it. Seriously.

Cheers,
MidNight

Randomly...

Since I dropped out of school & had to start looking for a proper job, I almost went bloody crazy filling up all those job application-fucking-application forms.

& here's a very popular Question found on every single one I've ever had to fill in:
Question-Have you ever had any convicts/arrests?
My Answer-Nah. Too good to ever be caught.

Hmm... i wonder why I never heard back from any of them???
This can only mean 1 thing.

I must have been looking for all the wrong jobs. I wonder what a right job for me is, then??? Hee.

Cheers,
MidNight The Magnificent

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

Hell yeah! The sister has gone away to camp!
Watching her pack is (accidentally) hilarious. Apparently, the GIRLS need to pack stuff like sunblock(I used suntan oil), deodorant(who wants to smell like a fucking fruit salad?!), assorted facial creams...

Still. it brought back good memories of my own past camps.

For starters, I NEVER hung with other girls, so the guys & I... Basically, we stank like skunks(In fact, the smellier we got, the more we boasted/bragged about it.).

Oh, & here's something to learn: 1 pair of underwear can last a whole-week-long camp. Boxers last longer than briefs.

Haha! Camping is always more fun with the guys than girly GIRLS... Ugh. Can't stand girls.

Hanging with the Queers & the Guys. (Like this post title says, NO GIRLS ALLOWED!)

Cheers,
MidNight

Learn Something New Everyday

Learn Something New Everyday
Was at the supermarket with the mother this morning & the woman wanted to buy some Brussels Sprouts. So, she sent me off to ask where the Brussel Sprouts originated from. (We generally try to avoid China products... ESPECIALLY if it's stuff that's to be eaten. Skin rashes isn't as bad as food poisoning. Tedious.) Guess where the 1st auntie who I asked told me they were from?!
"Hmm... I think they are from BRUSSEL."(!!!)
Interesting. Learn something new everyday. Apparently, Brussel sprounts come from the imaginary land of BRUSSEL. Stupid & ridiculous. But still. Cool. Kind of.
Cheers,
MidNight

It's so GOOD to be a Queer!

Sigh... Isn't it irritating whenever anyone tells you that you can't do something just because "you're a GIRL"?! Well. I'd found a pretty awesome way to deal with that.
My retort lately: "Who fucking cares?! 21 is only 1 year away, & I'll be getting my sex change operation done. Same difference, really." *sweet smile*
Hell yeah! Not that I would really, but I just like to freak people out. Especially since MOST of the people who tell me THAT are the parents' friends. Heh.
Gods, it's fun to freak people out. Mawhahahahaha! I'm so evil, GO ME!
Cheers,
MidNight The Magnificent
*repeats* "21 is just a couple of months away. I MUST survive!"

Lying

Trust me. I know perfectly well when's the right/appropriate time to lie & when I should tell the truth.
No, my problem's far simpler. (Or maybe not. I really can't tell.)
I just can't tell the difference between the truth, IN REALITY, & the truth that's all in my head.
So, of course, I always tell the truth. The whole truth & nothing BUT the truth(as I remember it anyway. It's NOT my fault that truth almost always turns out to be the one that's most advantageous to moi! Still, it's MY truth.)
Heh.

Who me heartless?! NEVER.

Who me heartless?! NEVER.
It's so damn amusing that the sister recently called me a "heartless egoistic jerk". I mean, I do have a heart, non? of course I have a heart. How else would I LOVE myself otherwise? It's a conscience I lack. & frankly, I really don't give a fuck. Why should I anyway?!
MidNight The Magnificent
Now & forever.
NEVER GONE...

Laugh. Anyone. Anything. Nothing is sacred.

Laugh. Anyone. Anything. Nothing is sacred.

As far as I'm concerned, there's just no point to humour if you can't make somebody the (often hurtful)butt of the joke AND hurt that person's feelings! Heh. & of course, in telling jokes at everyone's expense, one has to be able to withstand being the BUTT of the joke too, sometimes! Me? I always laugh. At anybody's & EVERYBODY's expense. Including my own. Who cares if it's hurtful as long as it's FUNNY?!
MAWHAHAHAHA!
Cheers,
MidNight
P.S.
Yes, mAyEeEeEeEeE, I'm finally updating my blog. I ain't going to blog shit about my daily life though. Who wants to hear about that?! That can wait till LATER. WHEN(not IF)I'm rich & famous!
Mawhahahahaha!

More Totally Random Musings...

More Totally Random Musings...
It's so amusing when I went out for dinner recently at a restaurant that the family & I used to go by quite often.
There's been rather a lot of staff changes since the last time we went by.
& the hilarious thing is that ALL the new servers addressed me as "Sir". The old staff (those who recognized me/us on sight were slightly mortified & apologized profusely) even as Evil Twin was setting off fireworks inside me.["Recognition! Finally!"]
Frankly, I don't give a fuck.
In fact, I'd be so much happier being mistaken for a man(Yes, Evil Twin, I love you too.)than a female bimbo(especially the type the stupid [blood] sister is. YUCK!).
Cheers,
MidNightTheMagnificent

Dream? Who needs to SLEEP to dream?!

Dream? Who needs to SLEEP to dream?!
In the mother's bid to STOP me "sleepwalking" through my life in a dream-haze, she's
1) taken away the earpieces to my mp3 player, so now, there's no longer portable music on the go(but which I don't really care about much since I've already PERFECTED the art of turning up the music in MY head to drown them all out. Lately, I'm favoring Iron Maiden. UP THE IRONS!)

& 2) stopped me from sleeping in the afternoons. [That's fine by me too. I don't need to SLEEP to dream.] BUT! The next time you see me with panda eye rings, it's all that wicked bitch's fault.
After all, I have to answer the call when my muse comes a-knocking. Even when she only visits in the middle of the night. & frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Cheers,
MidNightTheMagnificent
P.S.
Not that any of my friends would actually get to see me lately. My life is pathetic. It's official. I now have more (imaginary?) friends on the internet than in real life. Again, that wicked BITCH's fault. Sigh...

Fevered Delusional Ravings & Rantings

Fevered Delusional Ravings & Rantings

Oh yes. Bloody hell. Have been sick. Yes, me, MidNight The Magnificent. S. I. C. K. Ugh. Feeling damned awful. Pounding headache. Sore throat. No strength in limbs. Even the damned pen was feeling heavy as I wrote that. Mind's delirious with ideas though...

Hair.
I really can't stand guys with longer hair than me. Yes, I'm speaking as the Female. With Testerone. who's got a crew cut now, & yes, that includes all you rock stars out there with an ass-length mane. (How do you live with it, man!? Psychos.) Of course, those who truly know me will say that I can't stand other boys/men/people anyway, in which situation, I rest my case. What more the fucking hell can I say? I love ME! Mawhahahahahaha!

Cheers,
MidNight

P.S.
Oh, & Vector? Signing out button is at the top right corner of your screen. Savvy?
Cheers!

Pregnant Women?

Pregnant Women?
I never dare ask a woman if she's pregnant until I see an actual baby popping out of her. I mean, she could always just be a really REALLY fat woman.
Even worse! "SHE" could actually be a MAN! (Yes, I really dig Some Like It Hot. Still cracks me up every single time. Oops. I just gave away the twist, did I?)
Haha!
~MidNightTheMagnificent

Hair

Hair.
How to get my hair cut. The way I want it.
Hell yeah! I finally figured out what I gotta do if I, Female. With Testerone., want to get a crew cut. Speak to the hairdresser in a really DEEP, masculine voice(Thank you, evil twin). "Oh yes, it's been 3 months since my last haircut. Bloody hot. Damn irritating."
Even though in reality, it's only been 1 month since my last encounter with the lawnmower. Yes, it's freaky how fast my hair grows. Sigh... Still. As long as the end result is one damn comfortable crew cut, I don't fucking care what I have to resort to in order to get it. MY way.
Cheers, people. (Not that this information should be helpful to any of ya'll. Seems I'm the only Female. With Testerone. around here who's more interested in comfort than style.)
Cheers anyway,
MidNightTheMagnificent

My Muse

My Muse

Not for nothing am I called MidNight(The Magnificent, but never mind...).
The night is my muse & frankly, it's a wonder she puts up with me & still gives me inspiration...
I'm forced to go to bed pretty early EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT, way before MidNight exactly(but, hey poetic license, close enough...)
Forced by the ever unreasonable mother & a severe lack of afternoon naps. Still. The night is my muse.
Thank you for waking me up at 4am with fresh ideas of bloodlust & caninibalism(among other things...)
Sweet dreams...
~MidNight The Magnificent

Clothes

Clothes

I absolutely detest clothes that fit JUST RIGHT. If I had it MY way, everything would (& SHOULD) be at least 2 sizes TOO BIG.
For 1, I'm FAT. F. A. T.
And 2, I hate clothes which show to the world that I have boobs, even if they're only A-Cups. (Sadly, the rest of me ain't FIT enough to pass them off as man-boobs.)
Hate. Detest. Clothes. Not that I would walk around stark naked.
(Yes, this post has been sparked off by yet another of the mother's attempts to get me OUT of my begger clothes & into the nice *horrors* GIRL-Y shit. Somebody SAVE me!)
Sigh...
MidNightTheMagnificent

IMPORTANT Life Decision To Make... Please Help!

VERY IMPORTANT Life Decision To Make... Please Help!

My dad says I can take driving lessons when I get my OWN car. Since I can't afford to BUY one with the pitiful savings I've got, I guess that only leaves:

• steal a car... OR
• rob a bank... OR
• rob a bank AND steal a getaway car... (I'm gonna need a way to pay for the fuel &
  maintenance costs anyway... So NOT my fault that oil prices keep rising.)

Please guys, e-mail sg_loudhailer@hotmail.com on which decision you think I should make...

I gotta choose wisely & you know I value all your input... Now & forever , man...

Cheers,
MidNightTheMagnificent

Embarrassing Siblings:Having A Colossal Joke. On their behalf.

(Yes mAyEeEeEeEeE, I realize you're a "younger sibling", but they, at least you're not MY younger blood sibling. Hehe!)

Recently, the underaged sister went on a school trip out of the country. Naturally, I was there at the airport to greet her, with a specially prepared placard: “Sis! Wines inside are cheap! Buy me 3 bottles! You know, the usual poison.”
Party-pooper mother just HAD TO stop me. I still don't see what the problem is. I'm the alcoholic. Not her.
So unfair!
~MidNightTheMagnificent